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View Full Version : You might be addicted to NASCAR if...



Lad3der
03-23-2007, 07:13 PM
You might be addicted to NASCAR if...

If you wake up in the mornin to a alarm clock that says "Gentlemen Start yer engines" with a motor sound behind it.
If you refer to going to the bathroom as a "Pit Stop".
If you have a number painted on the side of yer car/truck.
If you put a yellow stripe on the back of yer teenagers car. .
If you have a conversation with any "normal" person and no matter what number they say you can name the driver.
If you only drive down one way streets so you can make a tight left turn.
If you time your self at the gas station against another person filling up yer tank.
If you consider yer Sunday Best to be a racing suit.
If you are in the store and "bang" another shopper with a cart so they dont pass.
If you log on to chat on the internet and yer handle is anything like Wub2Race or LooseIntheCorner.
If you buy 4 new tires when you have only one flat.
If you have ever told a ex-girl/boy griend they didnt "Qualify".
If you are 1st at a stop light in traffic an you look around and think you're sittin on the pole.
If you tape the races and watch it more than one time after that.
If you are at a race and know what the lingo is on the scanners.
If you name your baby after any driver and use Dale as the middle name.
If you know all of the states and towns names of where the tracks are.
If you pass somebody by while walking an in yer mind think "lapped him".
If you can remember the date of Daytona at the start of each season but not yer wifes/hubby birthday.
If you tell yer children they have been black flaged when they get in trouble.
If you can name the year and track of regular drivers 1st wins and not remember yer wedding anniversary.
If you have gone to a auto parts store and asked for the window tear off film.
If the doors on yer car/truck work fine and you still crawl in and out of the window.
If you go to Wallmart©™ once a week with yer spendin money and buy NASCAR ©™ related stuff.
If you save yer extra money for tickets to a race instead of a vacation every year.
If you have the NASCAR.com or RacinPortal.com website as yer home page on the computer.
You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just and attempt to get fuel into the pickup.
When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel. The next thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.(It's not always his fault...)
You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!"
You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas-n-go.
On an interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPM's up.
You make sure to stay under 55 when you leave the gas pumps.
You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"
You consider slower cars in the left lane as "lapped traffic".
Before traffic begins to resume regular speed on the highway, you find yourself weaving side to side warming up the tires to optimal tempature.
You can't wait for next year to see what Soap powder your favorite driver has as a sponsor, because the one he's got now keeps giving you a rash.
You drive for 2 hours out to the nearest Valvoline Quik Lube.
While explaining to the officer why your car is smashed into the interstate ramps guardrail, you explain: Well, the (your work)/ (your last name)Family Chevy was running great today. That blue Ford got in behind me, loosened me up, I drifted high and the next thing I knew, I was in the wall, but......I don't blame the other driver, heck, what can I say....that's racing!!
You've ever pushed little kids to the ground at Toy-R-Us to get to the Racing Champions cars first.
You rearrange your diecasts to match the grid during cautions.
You have a mini winners circle for your dicasts.
You get caught stealing the lifesize cut out of your favoritie driver from the local convience store.
You refer to the family mini van as the "team hauler"
You hit the car in front of you, and tell the officer "Rubbin is Racin!"
You've ever seriously considered putting an "onboard camara" in your car.
You plan family vacations around race dates.
When you pass someone on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.
You take your 4yr old son with you because you need a spotter.
You sign up for flu shots (at work) on Fridays so you can fake sick in order to get home in time for qualifying.
After riding behind the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOOO long, you decide to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency lane ( after looking, of course)
Your buddy is passing someone on the interstate, you're in the passanger seat yelling, "CAR HIGH!!!....CLEAR!!!"
You can get 12cans of Mountian Dew, 4quarts Gatorade, a bag of chips, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash anything.
You think nothing of getting up at 4am, driving for 5 hours, sitting in a traffic backup for 3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot, driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5am, going to work on 3 hours sleep, and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had!
If you have said, "That's me!" to at least half of the above! you know you are addicted to NASCAR