leah28racing
08-13-2007, 12:49 PM
New Nascar Rules
15) After each caution, the car will run the opposite way ... caution - clockwise - caution - counter clockwise - caution - clockwise ... etc.
14) Earnhardt, Jr., has to drive with a passenger ... preferably a sumo wrestler ... for extra weight.
13) Potty pit stops during a half time.
12) No more champagne in Victory Lane. A special whine will be used.
11) The 'wider is better' Pontiac will be narrowed since NASCAR has discovered the reason Pontiac widened the car was to accommodate a drivers ego.
10) Races will be shortened to 7 laps so Darrel Waltrip can finish on the lead lap on at least one of his final races.
9) There will be a 15 minute half time break so Benny Parson can get a snack ... better make it a 30 minutes.
8) Cars with handicapped plates shall pit in specially marked blue pit stalls.
7) Depends Undergarments announced it will sponsor a car for the 2001 season.
6) To ward off an approaching sexual discrimination lawsuit, NASCAR mandates at least one member of each sexuality will be represented on each team ...
5) Top speed is out! The cars starting positions will depend on how pretty the car is. If it's ugly they will vote on who gets provisionals, the ugliest car goes home.
4) To save the Inspectors time, one car will automatically fail inspection each week and the team will be fined $25,000.
3) Mike Skinner will start backwards so when he spins he will be facing the right direction.
2) The winner of a race will be determined by who picked the winner in NASCAR ROCKS ... if no one picked a winner, straws will be drawn ... the straw draw also holds true for second on back.
1) Because of Political Correctness, no discrimination against the handicapped will be permitted.
15) After each caution, the car will run the opposite way ... caution - clockwise - caution - counter clockwise - caution - clockwise ... etc.
14) Earnhardt, Jr., has to drive with a passenger ... preferably a sumo wrestler ... for extra weight.
13) Potty pit stops during a half time.
12) No more champagne in Victory Lane. A special whine will be used.
11) The 'wider is better' Pontiac will be narrowed since NASCAR has discovered the reason Pontiac widened the car was to accommodate a drivers ego.
10) Races will be shortened to 7 laps so Darrel Waltrip can finish on the lead lap on at least one of his final races.
9) There will be a 15 minute half time break so Benny Parson can get a snack ... better make it a 30 minutes.
8) Cars with handicapped plates shall pit in specially marked blue pit stalls.
7) Depends Undergarments announced it will sponsor a car for the 2001 season.
6) To ward off an approaching sexual discrimination lawsuit, NASCAR mandates at least one member of each sexuality will be represented on each team ...
5) Top speed is out! The cars starting positions will depend on how pretty the car is. If it's ugly they will vote on who gets provisionals, the ugliest car goes home.
4) To save the Inspectors time, one car will automatically fail inspection each week and the team will be fined $25,000.
3) Mike Skinner will start backwards so when he spins he will be facing the right direction.
2) The winner of a race will be determined by who picked the winner in NASCAR ROCKS ... if no one picked a winner, straws will be drawn ... the straw draw also holds true for second on back.
1) Because of Political Correctness, no discrimination against the handicapped will be permitted.