Rednecks and what they are doing for our country....

[DAN D.]

(Originally Broadcast on SNL Weekend Update.)

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These Alabama boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday. You can click on the pic to see a larger version of the picture.

[The Bullfather]

I didn't know Ted Baxter was a redneck!

[RGeeProductions]

Yeah....Where was that shot of TBax taken???

[Teds Race Tours]

Unfunny!!!!

[DAN D.]

Hey WJ is there such a word as UNFUNNY ? hey, Mr. Jitney when I put that up I had no intention with you in mind.. its "The Others" that interpreted in the manner in which they have .

[W. J.]

Yes unfunny is a word, LOL!

[RGeeProductions]

Fulla lead!!!! LOL

[Teds Race Tours]

Dan.
No problem. Richie and Peter wish they could look as good as I do.

Have a friend who uses the word unfunny all the time. Its basically used when a joke is funny, but he doesn't want to admit it.

[RGeeProductions]

Technology For Country Folk

1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.

2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.

5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.

6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.

7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.

9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.

11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.

12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.

13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.

14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.

15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.

16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.

17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.

18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.

19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.

20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.

21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.

22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine

23. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"

24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.