A Polish man married a Canadian girl, after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick".
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
Husband: "An acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms."
LAWYER "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Husband: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
Husband: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
Husband: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
Husaband: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set and DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes "
LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
Husband: "No, I'm always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
Husband: "No, she is white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
Husband: "SHE going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
Husband: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
Husband: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, 'Polish Remover.'"
Received from Reidonly
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I thought you would like that one! 
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