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[Lad3der]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected
child processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker
Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
Golf 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm
thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment
program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is
also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to
Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or
purge the program files from the system once
installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0
manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I
recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving
the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support
programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and
Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the
program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way
to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is
not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[Jeff T]

Excellent! But you did forget Incessive Speech Patterns-Talking During Cup Race on TV 101.......

[Lad3der]

sorry can't remember it all. but thats a good one