ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Beautiful Models Wanted
Bavarian Manure Wagon
Biggest Metal Waste
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Bring More Women
Bring More Wrenches
Bavarian Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY
Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER
Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now
FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT
Found In A Trashcan
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
FORD
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill
MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
Full Of Rust Deposits
Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Found On Rubbish Dump
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
Found On Rubbish Dump
For Old Retired Drunks
Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family
First On Recall Day
Fast On Race Day
For Off Road Driving
Fireball On Rear Damage
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
GMC
God's Mechanical Curse
Garage Man's Companion
Generic Motors Corporation
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Greatest Mistake Created
Great Mountain of Crap
Greasy Messy Contraption
Gay Man's Chevy
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
HUMMER
Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable
Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception
Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket
Just Expect Every Problem
Just Eats Every Penny
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich
Kia
Keep It Away!
Kick It's ***
Korean Imitation Accord
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset
Kiss It Away
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT
Killer Implosion Awaits
LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image
LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
Maserati
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero
Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
MOPAR
Match Old Parts As Required
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare
NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing
Never In Season Simply A No-show
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky *** Crap
PORSCHE
Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything
Plenty Of Repairs, Service Can't Help Everything
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything
SAAB
Some *** Actually Boughtit!
Styling Absent After Buyout
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty
SATURN
Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Wonderful
Very Weird
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
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